Warm fuzzies and cold pricklies

Valentine’s Day celebrates love. Maybe psychologists got it wrong when they said receiving love was a basic human need. Perhaps what each of us needs is to be actively expressing love as if it were a verb.

If love wasn’t just something we received, but rather an active expression of our open heart, it would be more contagious. Those who practice compassion as an integral part of their experiencing each day exhibit an internal softness which is palpable to everyone close enough to feel it.

Warm fuzzies or kind compliments like chocolate that melts in your mouth can make you feel better. Cold pricklies or critical remarks constrict your tainting your whole day, if you let them. The following short story illustrates this point and is a condensed version of Claude Steiner’s Warm Fuzzy Tale:

Back in the day when all was well with the world, there lived a happy family in a small town. Mother and father were still married and they had a handsome son and a beautiful daughter. Every citizen of their idyllic little town was born with a bag filled with an unlimited number of warm fuzzies which were given freely.

Each time someone received a kind word or a helping hand they showed their gratitude by reaching into their bag and pulling out a warm fuzzy to offer to the person who had shown them a kindness which made them feel warm and fuzzy inside.

When the father saw his son upset over a problem on his homework, he gave his boy a warm fuzzy to cheer him up. If the daughter saw that her mother was upset about making dinner, she reached into her bag and pulled a warm fuzzy which made her mom feel good.

As soon as the Fuzzy saw the light of day it would smile, snuggle up and melt right onto your shoulder making you feel good all over.

People asked for and gave fuzzies freely, so getting enough of them was never a problem. Since there were plenty to go around, everyone was happy most of the time.

Now the local witch was annoyed with all the happy citizens, because no one was getting sick so they wouldn’t buy her potions. So, she devised a plan to increase the sale of her potions.

The wicked witch began spreading an awful rumor that the warm fuzzy bag had a limited number of fuzzies in it. She assured everyone who would listen, especially the parents, that they would indeed run out, if they gave too many.

The witch advised saving their fuzzies only for their family and buying her fake fuzzies to give to others. People began withholding warm fuzzies, fearing they’d run out. They substituted the fake fuzzies that didn’t make the recipient feel fuzzy at all.

Those who continued to be generous with their warm fuzzy giving were frowned upon by their jealous family members who feared there wouldn’t be enough if their loved ones kept sharing with everyone in town.

Fake fuzzies confused the townsfolk who were now feeling cold and prickly. Sure enough, they began to get sick and turned to the witch to buy her potions to heal them.

Along came a gregarious stranger into town who gave freely from her warm fuzzy bag. The children loved to play with her because she was so generous with her warm fuzzies. They noticed that no matter how many fuzzies she gave away, she always had more when she reached into her bag. The children no longer believed their parents that warm fuzzies were going to run out and gave them freely again.

The parents still feared their supply would run out and passed a law restricting the giving of warm fuzzies only to immediate family members. The children believed the law was not right and decided to keep giving warm fuzzies freely.

(Children refusing to do as their parents request feels a bit like the young people who organized the Arab Spring and the Occupy Wall Street movement – the start of civil disobedience.)

The end of the story is up to you. Will you, like the children, give warm fuzzies generously? Remember, those who restrict giving get fake fuzzies and even cold pricklies in return.

Constricted hearts are more likely to pick fights and go to war. Your open hearted expression of compassion invokes the presence of engaged softness.

 I trust your kinder softer side will emerge on this day dedicated to love. Invite it to be so and so it will be.

Kristi McCracken, author of two children’s books and a long-time teacher in the South Valley, can be reached at educationallyspeaking@gmail.com.